Learned the hard way

If there’s one thing to be learnt from a stag weekend in Amsterdam, it’s that Amsterdam is (unexpectedly) fricking hot at the end of April.

No, if there’s one thing to be learnt from a stag weekend in Amsterdam, it’s that Amsterdam has a metric shedload of excellent bars and cafes where you can sit outside and watch the world go by while you fry in the sun. It also has at least a few naff ones, some of which try to get patrons to top themselves by using an especially depressing playlist.

Actually no, if there’s one thing to be learnt from a stag weekend in Amsterdam, it’s that the Red Light district is just as bad a you feared it would be, and then a whole lot more. From families, to tourist couples taking photos in front of the windows, to old men in raincoats just …. leering. And man, do the windows look tacky.

Actually, scratch that. If there’s ONE thing to be learnt from a stag weekend in Amsterdam, it’s that spilling a something-and-pomegranate fruit smoothie down your front does look like you threw up on yourself. Especially when you spend most of the day throwing up. No one to blame but yourself dude, but we’re proud of you…. taking one for the team.

No, no. I got it. If there’s one thing to be learnt from a stag weekend in Amsterdam, it’s that you can survive, and even nearly function, with a lot less sleep than you might imagine.

Hmmm, wait. Actually if there’s one thing to be learnt from a stag weekend in Amsterdam, it’s that clubs in other countries aren’t much better than here, but are louder.

Ok, so looks like there’s no one single thing to be learnt from a stag weekend in Amsterdam, but the overarching message is … I’m way too old for this s**t